P.S:/: Jo, don't worry too much.
31st October,Friday
OMG!!! We're going to Kelantan tomorrow! Ahhhh! I so do not have time for this~ Gonna take a nap first, after that, I'll eat my early dinner. Then, I'll have to go for water color class. I did all this and went home. At approximately 10pm, I received a call. It was Madame Rose.
'Hey, you were suppose to call me.'
'Um.. Sorry teacher, i was in art class.'
'OK, fine. There is something i need to tell you Karine. Lulu and Bessi are not coming... So you will have to speak..'
'No, wait. What!? What do you mean by they are not coming? I thought they've agreed to c..'
'Well, you see Karine. This is what happened, everything was so last minute. You see..Bessi says.....'
Thus, with a sad, disappointed tone and sounded as if she's choking back her tears, Madame Rose explained everything. That Lulu is not coming because she's sick and how Bessi has agreed to go but canceled again after finding out that Lulu is not going. Teacher explained Bessi's reasons. To Madame Rose, it may seem unreasonable, but i think i could make some sense out of it...Because teacher keeps on reassuring Bessi that with her presence there, the team would definitely win and such. But without Lu, which is like another huge part of the team AND also Bessi's moral supporter, Bessi thinks that she can't do it? I mean, its scary...The pressure of having to win(more like HAS to win), what if she can't? I think she just doesn't want to disappoint people, IF she were to disappoint.
And so the pressure is on...
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1st November, Saturday
Got up early in the morning at 6.30am, after only 2 and a half hours of sleep. Was packing and doing missing scripts with the help of Low the night before, i was so pissy for not checking properly, and was so totally venting my anger on him; also, I couldn't think logically at that time( so sleepy, right? )and i kept on asking for opinions and stupid questions. Thank goodness Low was there to help; surprised me totally that he's actually so responsible...Maybe its because of the other two girl's absence? So we did the script until 3 in the morning, and after that i went packing for one hour and then to sleep. And so woke up at 6.30am and did some last minute packing and checking.
After checking and packing, i took a bath and did some washing up, i want to look properly groomed, unlike my usual days where i look like a mutt. I took the bag down from upstairs and outside the house, before long, i started sweating again. This frustrates me. Soon after mom came out looking gorgeous. She asked me to check once again, make sure that i don't leave out ANYTHING. After that, I left with mom at 8am for the airport. We ate breakfast and rushed to MAS airport. Our flight is at 10.20am but we need to be there by 9am. As the car approaches the airport entrance, i could already see John, his mother, Low and Low's parents sitting on one of the many rows of bench that is near the entrance. Mom handed me RM300 to buy souvenirs and also for daily needs. Reluctantly, we said gave our loves and bid each other good bye. I took my bags down from the passenger's seat and walked into the airport.
Madame Rose was out of sight. Low says that she has prayer meeting. So, we waited. The anticipation and the adrenaline rises within me. I wanted to get this over with so quickly. I feel like i just want to slay all my opponents. As that thought raced in my head, i observe some minor insignificant happenings. Low's parents were talking to him. They were anxious too, i can tell. John's mom did the same, after that she went to buy mineral water for each of us. What a considerate and warm soul. How i was in awe. My parents won't do any of this as they do not really show their affection openly.I know that all too well. But as long as i bear the thought that they love me in mind... I know it.
Time passes by quick. Madame Rose came, we registered, we did all the rituals needed to go on board the metal bird. Two birds actually.
After we reach Kelantan airport, we took our luggage and went aboard the travel bus. Idiot SARAWAKIEN debaters took their luggage up with them and practically hogged up the space. Low made a funny sarcastic comment...
'why is your luggage here?'
'because there is no booth.'
'then WHERE is our luggage? IN THE BOOTH.'
'good point.'
But then, its already too late, because the front is ALREADY full. So in the end, Low and a few Negeri Sembilan people had to stand up through the journey upon reaching Perdana hotel. Negeri Sembilan people looks like they loathe us or something...When we reached there, jaws dropped. WIDE OPEN. Its totally different from what we imagined it to be. TOTAL CRAP HOLE. The registry sucks, the organizing sucks even more. Everyone from Sabah was separated into different rooms except for John and Low. You can imagine, right?
Lets cut it short, we clean up, had dinner(food was terrible), and started memorizing and stuff.
We've got a big day ahead of us. I don't want to disappoint teacher nor do i want to embarrass myself. I should at least promise myself that much.
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2nd of November, Sunday
Today's the day. The day of our first match. Teacher keep assuring us that we'll do fine. And that we'll win. Personally i felt empowered. I will win; for teacher, for everyone who supported us, and myself.
I keep telling myself i'm good, i'm confident, the substance is solid, don't let anything affect you. Don't let anything or anyone pull me down. The fire is there.
I woke up at 6.30am and get ready. I woke the Kedah girls, obviously they won't be in shape to wake up on their own; chatting and giggling and flirting with their boyfriend through the phone.
I went on ahead. And i met up with teacher. We had breakfast, which is once again, horrible. The food served was so distasteful. Imagine only Nasi Kangar(sticky rice) with fish curry. Gross. However horrible it was, i permit myself to eat one spoon full of rice with curry sauce. I did not take the fish, as it poses a threat to my stomach. Eat some fruits and drank tea. Again, the management never seize to amaze me. With 12 states competing, each state consisting of 5 students and a teacher, which equals to:
*60 students
*12 teachers
*20 people from the ministry
32 person excluding the students are served porridge, fried noodles, baked beans, sausages, nuggets, sticky rice, soup, bread, beef stew.....You get my picture. How crude and how unfair!
Soon after that, the competition starts. As in tradition, we get 1 hour of quarantine time. By this time, nervousness, and incompetence kicked in. I was going to get hysteria stricken. But i tried, really i did, to keep myself together.
Soon after, the competition started. I do not want to go into detail. In the end we lost. Teacher broke into tears, so did Low. I can't stand it! How i've disappointed everyone! I broke into tears too. I called Jo right away. I wasn't thinking straight anymore, i cried and whined. I tried choking back my tears, and halfway,i thought:'what am i doing? As if she's not worried enough?!' So i cut the conversation short.
I went out of the hall...and straight to the seaside.
I felt the serenity there,i felt calm. I breathe in. I put my everything down and took off my shoes and my socks. I just wanted to feel the seawater running through my toes. I cried there. There were spectators, but i don't care. The sound of the waves splashing, the mild howling of the wind, the rustle of the trees...
God, i need to find peace.
I calmed down a bit.
Soon after i heard teacher calling my name. I picked up my stuff and walked towards her. We stopped under a coconut tree, and she assured me that the reason she's sad and disappointed is not because we didn't win. But is because of Bessi and Lulu. She said, looking at Negeri Sembilan's presentation she KNOWS that, with Bessi here, how we could easily win.
She assured me that for a first timer, my performance was already good even with one day's training. Imagine if we trained longer. We lost because everything was prepared on such last notice. I was in a trance, the next thing i know, we were shopping in town.
We stopped at the first floor which is the snack section. All of us bought Kelantan's infamous dodol. After that, we went to the second floor. We shopped like crazy. Females bought batik while guys bought slingshots. I bought 1 pure silk batik, 3 half silk ones, 4 cotton batik, and 2 sarongs. Which costs:
*pure silk:(RM120>>>RM100)X 1 =RM100
*half silk:(RM50>>>RM40)X 3=RM120
*cotton:(RM15>>>RM10)X 4=RM40
*sarong:2 for RM25=RM25
TOTAL=RM 285
*1kg dodol:RM7
*assorted flavour dodol:RM10
*honey glazed peanut and sesame biscuit:RM4
*coconut shaving dessert:RM1
TOTAL=RM22
TOTAL TOTAL=RM307
RM360-RM307=RM53
after that, we went for lunch. By then i was cheered up. I ordered fried noodles and a lychee syrup drink for a very cheap price. For a plate of fried noodle that would have cost us RM5 here in Sabah cost me only RM3.50. And what would have cost us about RM1.50, was sold at RM 1 for a glass of Lychee syrup drink.
Lets just round it off:
RM53-RM5=RM48-RM8(TAXI FARE)=RM40
The people there is quite generous, i finished my drink and they offered me free drinking water. Its plain water though. But heck, you can't get that back here in Sabah.
After that we went back to the hotel, cleaned up and went to the airport. Despite the fact that i almost left my laptop there and has to walk back to the chalet 2 times, everything were going quite smoothly.
We reach KL and went for our dinner.
RM40-RM12=RM28
After that i used my remaining money to buy famous amos.
RM28-RM25=RM3
SO...This trip left me broke.We were cheered up, all of us. We're going to enter the terminal when suddenly teacher went to hug someone. It was Bessi's mom. Funny how fate works. Then suddenly, people started jerking up tears again(except for John, i wonder). Madame Rose had a long talk with her. I don't know what they were talking about. I didn't listen. I don't want to know.
We went on board the plane........................
Like a doll, and exhausted, i slept on the plane. All i could remember was that, my fellow team mates slept on my shoulder. Just this once i felt like i'm protecting them. In that moment...Just that moment...
We took our luggages and bid each other goodbye. I went home in mom's car, i felt so relieved. Finally i'm back home with my family and i'm gonna see my friends soon. I'm filled with a sense of warmth, i felt loved, safe, and i am grateful.
When i reach home, i've forgotten about all the small talk we've had in the car. It was 1am already. In the living room, I told mom everything; my thoughts, what happened, the good and the bad moments. I felt empowered, and i still am. Going to Kelantan was not a mistake, it taught me something, and made me realize many things. After that,i enter my room. And serenity just caught up with me, though the pain in my heart is still there. But i know, at least i'm not alone. Never in my life have i felt so appreciative. I tucked my self in after washing up, i prayed that i will have the sweetest dream about my family and friends and i prayed that they had the same dream. With that i drifted into slumber and thus my journey ended...
